Hitsugaya's Grudge
by seiko-dono
Summary: Toushiro and Ichigo meet after about 2 years,and Ichigo falls in love,twist: Toushiro remembers the pain Ichigo put him through as a bully but Ichigo doesnt!..though am not confident in my writing,sorry. rated for language...
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER!**

**WARNING: CONTENTS:**

**shounen-ai ( ichihitsu, ichigo x hitsugaya ), if you don't like it then don't read it….**

**NO EXPERIENCE:**

**I am young and VERY inexperienced, this is my first attempt at writing ANYTHING that isn't an essay or schoolwork…this is obviously my first fanfic and maybe last if it does turn out as horrible as I expect…also English isn't my mother language so expect mistakes, many of them……**

Hitsugaya Toushiro's POV: (btw in this story, toushiro can REALLY hold a grudge…it's kinda the main idea here)

Today is Monday, it's my first day as a transfer student in this high school. I have to say that I _am_ a bit nervous. Moving 1823km from the place I grew up might have a bit to do with why am nervous but really it's because of my mom. My father died 2 years ago and mom couldnt really support the both of us since. She was such a klutz that she couldn't keep a job for more than a month, so she suggested that we move. I think that moving is just going to make things worse,but if the same thing happens with her work then I WILL quit school and work.

Kurosaki Ichigo's POV:

~~Kurosaki's house~~

'Monday mornings are the worst!' I thought as the evil sun shone onto my face. "wake up nii-san! You're gonna be late for school!" shouted Yuzu, my younger sister, as she knocked on the door. Yuzu can be really persistent when it comes to Karin and I, she's almost another mother. "I am awake Yuzu, really, I am." I said in a tired voice, giving up on any more amount of sleep before school. I went through the same never-changing morning routine. I try to get as much sleep as I can get, Yuzu doesn't give me the slightest chance, my father kicks me, I dodge, he complains, Karin is just happy that she gets to eat my breakfast because am going to be late AGAIN(A/N:this was supposed to be his morning routine which I think really screams ''Ichigo''XD) . She's so lucky her school is so close, mine is almost all the way across town!

~~in school~~

Today , there was supposed to be some new kid in our class. Rumours say it's a really cute girl so I am not interested. And yes, that means I am attracted to guys. I am not really sure of how I feel, it's just that girls don't really do it for me and I do occasionally find myself staring at guys. I noticed my sexuality when my sister, Yuzu, asked if had a girlfriend. I told her I didn't so she said, "Why nii-san? You are really good-looking and most guys your age already have girlfriends." When I found myself looking at some guy's ass in school I just kinda put two and two together. It didn't really come as a shock and I didn't make a deal out of it, I just kept it in the back of my mind like any new interesting thing you learn in science(A/N: many people call me a freak but I am always interested in science and I just know the feeling but cant really express it).

Hitsugaya Toushiro's POV:

~school~

I went into the classroom with the teacher to be introduced to the whole class. The class looked really surprised as I entered. It seemed that they thought a girl was transferring if the guys' complains are any indicator. I didn't really pay any attention to the students in he classroom, I introduced myself and wrote down my name on the board. The teacher told me to sit in the back because it was the only empty seat. I think he said I'll be sitting beside a Kurosaki Ichigo. I almost laughed because I thought it might be the same Kurosaki from middle school who used to hit and make fun of me. I say almost because when I saw that orange hair and honey brown eyes I _knew_ that this person is definitely the same Kurosaki.

I just went to sit in my seat and ignored the boy's hand as he offered it me to shake. He seemed really hurt that I ignored him, but I couldn't just forget what hell this devil put me through. I can still remember the days I returned home crying or with something or another broken by him. But it seems like he forgot about me rather easily. Ofcourse he forgot, he was the one laughing and enjoying every moment, why does he need to remember?

Class finally finished and I turned to leave only to bump into the guy in front of me, who just happened to be Kurosaki! Damn fate playing with me. Now he's gonna get angry and tell me to look where am going and I'll become the object of his abuse yet again.

Kurosaki Ichigo's POV:

Most of the guys in our class where disappointed when the 'cute' girl turned out to be a guy, and a cute one nonetheless. The guy was on the short side with bleached hair and teal eyes. He came in and introduced himself as Hitsugaya Toushiro, a name that I felt was somehow familiar but couldn't quite place yet, and was told to take the empty seat beside me. I extended my hand to him as he began to sit but he totally ignored it. I was really hurt by that and thought about it for the rest of the period.

I know that I knew the name, I just cant remember. The best way to get what I want is right beside me, Hitsugaya. I need to know from him the reason he ignored me and I will ask him if I know him from somewhere. When the period ended I walked to the other side of his table to confront him and he stood up quickly going for the door but bump right into me instead.

IMPORTANT:

**Author's Note:I really don't know how good this is and I want to know because if it is, then I'll continue but if it isn't I will remove it…please review…and constructive criticism is VERY welcome(read: what am looking for) especially since am into the whole yaoi thing and all my family and friends are homophobic!**


	2. Chapter 2

What he said instead really surprised me. Ichigo apologized for standing so close and backed away, then he said, "Hitsugaya-kun I need to talk to you about earlier and there is something else I need to see you about, but I am running late for my next class so please, please join me at lunch break at the roof." With that he bowed and left. It seems that Ichigo changed to the better but I can't really judge just yet, besides it could just be a trap to humiliate me.

People in this school seem quite nice. I already made a friend during English. She's the quiet and shy kinda girl. We had the second, third and fourth period together, which was a plus. Her name is Hinamori Momo. She introduced me to a bunch of her friends at lunch, there was a blonde, busty senior called Matsumoto Rangiku, a red haired junior called Abarai Renji, a raven haired freshman, like us, called Kuchiki Rukia, and finally a blond sophomore called Izuru Kira.

I liked them all, they were fun. I really enjoyed my time at school more than I ever thought possible. I enjoyed walking back home with Matsumoto-san whose house just so happened to be in the same direction as mine. She was a bit nosy at first, but she stopped when I told her that I don't want to tell her everything about me just yet. As for Ichigo, well, I just ignored him, and that is exactly what I'll continue doing from today onwards.

* * *

After the first period, I continued thinking about the earlier events. For some reason, I REALLY want to be Hitsugaya-kun's friend but he was SO cold. I just want to know what I did wrong. I know that my appearance may be very well intimidating as many have told me before, but that just CAN'T be it. There was _something_ in his eyes as he looked at me. Something almost like dread.I can't read emotions and I'm no psychic, but that much I can tell. I guess it doesn't matter anymore; after all, I am going to talk to him during lunch.

As the bell signaled the end of this period and the beginning of lunch I packed my stuff as fast as I could, took my lunch, and raced to the roof top. I waited for him. Every time the wind blows strong enough to move the door, I turn around thinking he's there. Every time I hear voices or footsteps coming near I tell myself 'he came, he's finally here' but he didn't come. I didn't see him even once for the rest of the day. In the end, all I had was a feeling of somewhat rejection and confusion to walk home with.

* * *

When I returned home, I asked my mom about her day. She said everything will be absolutely fine but I knew from the tone of her voice that it wont. I can't really do much to help her, all I can do is have a part time job and cheer her up when she's down. That's how we always were. I will be as helpless as usual, my mother will be depressed, and I will cheer her up for one more day.

I got a part time job at some café in town, and I will start tomorrow. I am really hoping that this will take some of the weight off of my mother. Although she is better off alone, she still does her all she can do to give me the best. Whenever I think about how hard it should be for her, my admiration and respect for her increase even more. She is the best mother I could ever ask for.

* * *

I could SWEAR that the sun rises just to tease me! It's shining on my face like a fucking flashlight! "Wake up, Ichi-nii, you're gonna be late again!" shouted Yuzu from downstairs. "I AM AWAKE, YUZU!" I shouted back. I don't know why but I can never wake up early on Mondays, it's really frustrating. A week passed since I met Hitsugaya, and I still can't figure him out! When I think about it from a more logical point of view, it seems like it isn't worth it, but then again when you have a crush on someone, you don't exactly act as logically as possible towards him/her.

Yes, I just admitted to having feelings to the new kid in class. I have a crush on Hitsugaya Toushiro, someone I never met before this week in my life, and someone I know absolutely nothing about except the fact that he _absolutely despises_ me! To top it off, he seemed to be avoiding me like the friggin' plague after only one hour of meeting me for the first time. I don't know what to do about it, but I know that I am not one to give up easily, so I wont. I will do my best to know what he sees wrong in me and be his friend, although I wouldn't mind being much, MUCH more than that.

**A/N: I did my best in this chapter and I will always do my best because I do not appreciate half-heartedly done work. I am really grateful to those who reviewed and I'd like to see what they think of this chapter too, and again, constructive criticism is more than welcome! i am sorry guys! i put separation but they kinda disappeared!**

**I am really sorry about this but i did REALLY BAD in my math exam, and I dont think i will write anymore before the exams finish in 2 weeks...**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I disclaim everything but the plot.**

**A/N: I am REALLY sorry for being so late, but I just COULDN'T write for some reason! It was really annoying me until today, I was thinking about the story and this scenario hit me like a ton of bricks.**

**On with the story…**

School ended an hour ago. I just couldn't return home just yet. I was thinking about Hitsugaya-kun and I felt like I needed to just walk around, have some fresh air, you know. I barely see him outside of class. I know he's avoiding me, but it still hurts and what's worse is that I STILL don't know what I did wrong. It is just frustrating. All I can do is keep staring at him in class, but that's definitely not enough.

My thoughts started drifting elsewhere. I started thinking of how beautiful his white skin is, how soft it must feel. I could see(in my head) his handsome features, his striking teal eyes, his perfect nose, his rosy kissable lips. I daydreamed about going out with him, touching him, kissing him. Oh how beautiful he, "OUCH!" I said as I was brought back to reality by a pole that I hit my head on. I looked at my watch and noticed that it has been more than two hours since school finished, and I was both tired and hungry from all the walking. I can only thank god that I know where this place is and that am not lost.

I walked a bit more to see a café(1) as my stomach growled. It seemed like just the perfect time and place for me to have a white mocha (extra white choco :P) and a croissant. I went in and saw that it was almost empty. I went straight to the counter and ordered, "hey, excuse me, but I need a white mocha with WHAO, Hitsugaya-kun, what are you doing here?"

"I work here," he replied, "forget that we know each other and just order what you want to."

"Hey, don't be like that, and what the hell exactly do you have against me."

"It doesn't matter what I have against you, if you forgot then it shows that you didn't care about what you did to me back then!" he said angrily.

"back then," I asked "are you saying I know you from before I moved? Is that why you're angry, did I do something horrible to you?"

"**Kurosaki, just shut up OK, don't ask me, ask yourself, and please just order what you want before you get me fired!"**

"but I…" I started to be cut off with **"unless you want me to hold losing my job against you too, shut up and order!"**

* * *

My shift was already over but for some reason I was still worked up. I didn't wanna return home to my depressed mom in THIS mood. 'I'll walk around for a while to cool down before going back.' I thought. I started walking and thinking about Kurosaki, It actually feels like he changed. It feels like he wasn't the same person that I know. He has become better. But humiliation of what he did to me stopped me from even considering being his friend. Besides, why the hell does he wanna be MY friend of all people anyways?

I kept walking wherever my feet led me. I stopped to look at my surroundings, I was completely lost! I don't have the foggiest clue of where I am. I looked at my watch to see that it has been quite some time since my shift ended. I felt tired from walking so I went to sit on a nearby bench in some playground. I checked my phone to call my mother and see if she'd know where this Alexander Street is supposed to be, but it turned out to be out of battery.

I sighed and rested on the bench for a bit. When I stood up, my head landed straight between a pair of humongous breasts that could only belong to one person I know, Matsumoto Rangiku.

"Oh Toushiro, don't you think you are moving a bit too fast." She said with a blush and a smirk.

"You're the one who was standing in front of my face, besides I am not interested in older women anyway."

"Hey, am not THAT old."

"Yea sure, grandma." I said with my tongue out. She smiled and asked me, "so, what brought you here in the first place?"

"I could ask you the same question." I replied

"I asked you first but whatever, I live there," and she pointed to a building across from us, "and I came down when I saw you."

"Oh, ok" I said, "actually, I got lost on my way back home and ended up here" I answered here with a sheepish grin.

"How come?"

"Well, I was thinking about some things while walking and I didn't want to go back home in a bad mood."

"I see, so what got you in a bad mood in the first place."

"You sure are nosy, you know, many people don't appreciate that."

"You sure are secretive, you know, many _friends _don't appreciate that."

"You've got a point," I said with a blush, "it's just that I had a fight with Kurosaki in a café where I work."

"Oh, you mean Kurosaki Ichigo?"

"You know him?"

"Not really, he's a friend of a friend, her name is Orihime, anyways, what was it about?"

"You are really are nosy AND persistent aren't you? Can't you take a hint when someone doesn't tell you everything, especially since I have no reason to."

"I know that you don't wanna tell me everything Toushiro, but you will have to sometime and believe me you'll feel better if you tell someone about your problems. Besides, you do have a very good reason to tell me."

"Oh yea, what's that?"

She smirked and said, "you're lost, and I know how far away from school my house is, and I know that yours is besides karakura hospital. So only I can tell you where your house is."

"What if I ask someone else?" I asked with a triumphant smile.

She replied with a bigger smile, "your ego is too big for your own good, you'd rather be lost for a week than ask a stranger for directions."

At that, I sighed in defeat and started talking, "Ok, I'll tell you, but you better not tell anyone about this or I'll kill you with an icicle while you sleep."

"I promise I won't tell."

"Okay, it was around two years ago, the week after my father's death. I went to school that week depressed and didn't talk to anyone. And there was this bully that liked to take other's lunch money. That day I was quite the easy target so he came, hit me and took my money. I didn't do anything, in my depressed mood, I just sat in the hallway crying. After lunch was over, I went to class normally like nothing happened. However, after school, as I tried to get out of the class, Kurosaki pushed me. I remained silent and went to the other door, but he followed me and tripped me.

He came with a bunch of his friends and my clothes off of me saying, "it's nothing personal, we just wanna check if you are really a boy or a crybaby girl." And to add salt to wound they pushed me into the garbage bin. After that, all my friends stopped hanging out with me, saying that they don't want to be seen with me and I was made the year's laughing stock. Even the next year, this continued, and it hurt, it hurt SO MUCH you couldn't even imagine." I said and started to cry. Rangiku sat there bewildered saying, "I'm sorry, I had no idea that you had to go through something like that." She hugged me and patted my back as I cried my eyes out in front of her.

**A/N: (1) I heard café in America isn't like a café here which is equivalent to a coffeehouse, just to clear things up….**

**This is all I could write, I am mentally exhausted, but I apologize again for being so late. And before you tell me Ichigo isn't that kinda person, just wait and you'll probably know the reason in future chapters….**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I disclaim everything but the plot**

**A/N: I enjoy writing the story quite a bit, but your reviews make it all the more enjoyable. So, please review and let me know what you think of the story. The one review from the previous chapter gave me enough incentive to write this one, so I dedicate this chapter to: **

**Black Cat Angel**

After I told Rangiku what happened, we became better friends. We began eating lunch together and hung out after school. She is very sensitive and caring but still way too nosy for her own good. She even helps me avoid Kurosaki. Although I ask her to not to do it, she makes a point of glaring at him whenever he passes by. At first I was annoyed by it but I understood how she felt when I started feeling the satisfaction as well.

~.~.~_~.~.~

I am seeing more of Hitsugaya these days but whenever I do, I see Matsumoto with him. She glares at me as if I killed a member of her family or something. Rumors say that that bitch is going out with my Toushiro. HOW DARE SHE! I hate her like hell, she's a freaking WITCH. And isn't she a bit TOO old for him anyways. Why can't he be satisfied with someone his own age(1)!

Anyways, speaking of busty strawberry blondes, I was talking to Orihime today. She said she needed some help with some homework we had, and I am supposed to be at her place at around five.

-Time skip- Orihime's place:

"Oh, hello Ichigo-kun, come right in." She greeted me, and led me to her living room and asked me to sit down. "So, you said that you needed help with some homework? Why didn't you ask Ishida instead?" I asked. "Well he was busy with some, ugh, things, anyways, do you want something to drink, some snacks?" She offered. "Get me whatever you're getting, I guess"

After an hour and a half of explaining and writing, she FINALLY suggested a break. We sat down and watched the TV for a little bit and then I looked at her and asked, "hey Orihime, you are Matsumoto Rangiku's friend, right?"

"Yes, I am, why?" She replied carefully.

"It's nothing, really, I just heard that she and Hitsugaya are going out…"

"Oh, that, no it's not true, they are just friends." She answered with a smile and continued sweetly, "So, do you like Matsumoto-san?"

"No, it's not like that at all."

"Oh, I see. Then it is Hitsugaya-kun you like, isn't it, Ichigo-kun?"

"Of course not, that's just stupid, Hitsugaya and me, no way, what makes you think that?"

"Actually, I noticed that you were attracted to him since the day he came. The way you look at him is not normal for friends, and that's how I figured it out, and it is also the real reason that I asked you to help me instead of Ishida-kun."

"Wow you're amazing, Orihime, I never thought you were so smart."

"Well, I guess I am." She said with a smile. "You know, Ichigo, it's okay if you are gay, I don't really mind. Actually I might like you a bit better."

"Thank you Orihime for not judging me, I appreciate it."

"You are welcome" was the last thing she said before we went back to studying like nothing ever happened.

That same day, I began thinking about possible ways to make Toushiro accept me, at least as a friend. I didn't want to push things too fast(2). Since direct approach didn't seem to work, I'll try an indirect one. I am going to let Orihime get to Matsumoto to get to Toushiro.

**A/N: (1) I have nothing against people who date others younger or older than them, it's just Ichigo rambling in his rage.**

**(2) I really don't want to push things too fast so tell me if I did.**

**I really need to sleep so am stopping here, and I'll try to continue later at night. Please rate and review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I disclaim**

**A/N: Enjoy the story…I am thinking of making it a filler chapter but we'll see how it turns out.**

Today is Sunday and Orihime asked me to go with her to the mall to buy her some clothes. I asked her why me and not one of her girlfriends but she said with a huge cheesy smile, "It's the sacred ritual for straight girl/gay guy friendships to start with a day in the mall." I, of course, didn't know how to answer but I didn't want to disappoint her. Besides, with her bizarre taste, she will sure as hell need to spend the whole day in the mall with someone to pick out wearable clothes for her.

That'd be why right now I, Kurosaki Ichigo, am being dragged into an underwear store. She dragged me in saying, "you're gay so you don't mind right." Which wasn't really a question. Even though I AM gay, it doesn't mean that I HAVE to go into an underwear store without feeling nervous, because, really, am still a guy. My nervousness wasn't really because of the panties and bras, but the weird looks on the women's faces. And to top it all off, Orihime was picking the MOST exotic and dangerous looking bras and wearing them to ask for my opinion.

Although I was really humiliated as I picked ones that looked good on her but were considerably safer, I felt like she and I bonded during what felt like four hours but turned out to be thirty minutes. After we finally finished, we went to buy her some actual clothes.

The first thing she showed me had needles and broken glass sticking out of it. She smiled innocently and asked, "Do you think this looks good on me Ichigo-kun?" I looked at her as if she grew a second head and told her to pick another dress right away and stay away from the dangerous ones. We continued like that for a few hours then I said, "YOUR CRUEL CRIMES AGAINST FASHION END NOW!" Well, that's what I wanted to say but I didn't wanna hurt her feelings so I said, "Uhh, Orihime-chan, I think maybe you should wait here in the changing room and I'll get you some things to try on, okay."

We finished picking out clothes for my sweet idiot of a friend, then we went to the food court and I made sure to order for her and allow her no time to talk. After we got our food, we picked a table in the corner and sat down. We started eating in a companionable silence, but after a bit, Orihime asked me, "ne, Ichi-kun, what do you plan to do about Hitsugaya-kun? Aren't you going to at least talk to him?"

"Ichi-kun?" I asked.

"I thought since we are becoming better friends we can be even less formal with the names, call me hime." She said with her cheesy smile.

"Ok, I guess, hime."

"You didn't answer me…"

"Well I don't really know what I can do about Toushiro-kun he seems to hate me." I said with a sad smile.

"Oh, it's Toushiro-kun now, since when?" she said in an attempt to cheer me up.

"Since you found out am gay, of course." I said with a smile.

"So, do you know why he hates you?"

"Actually, no, I don't and that's what's bothering me the most…"

"I don't really know what to say Ichi-kun except for good luck," she smiled then paused thoughtfully, "Well, I could ask Rangiku-chan, she might know something or ask Hitsugaya on your behalf…."

'I did it! I didn't even have to ask her to do it *sigh in relief*' I thought as I said, "Yeah, I guess that could work."

**A/N: I know the chapters are very short, and I apologize, but I wanna keep them coming. It's easier for me like this and it makes me write more, I guess. R&R! **


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I disclaim.**

**A/N: I dunno what the heck's going on with me but I have so many ideas and scenarios that I just have to write NOW!**

It's Monday. Yesterday, I slept early in a good mood, and today I woke up at five a.m. in a cheerful mood. You know when you wake up knowing that this day has something GREAT in store for you, and you feel giddy and too energetic to sleep? Well, that's how I feel. I took a long shower, ate my breakfast, and went out for school early. I just couldn't stay in one place. Even Yuzu-chan was surprised.

Since it is Monday, the girls will have lunch together and FINALLY I'll know what's wrong with Toushiro. I am counting on hime-chan and Matsumoto to tell me. I feeling like I am fifty kilos lighter! I could say am on cloud nine, but I will be feeling MUCH better after talking to Toushiro, so I'll leave cloud nine for later.

I met hime on my way to school. She seemed to be in the same state that I am in. I wished her the best of luck. She told me not to worry and that I will probably be able to talk to Toushiro about it tomorrow. She said that she'll ask Rangiku to clear the way for me.

-Time skip- after school:

"I talked to Rangiku-chan today, when I mentioned you she became REALLY upset. When I asked what's wrong, she said that you did something absolutely horrible and unspeakable. I asked her what that was but she said that she promised Toushiro not to say anything. Anyways, I told her that you just wanna be friends with him and to give you way and she said okay; tomorrow let him come to the roof."

I never felt happier; I knew my wish was going to come true. It was going to be soon that I'll make up whatever it was to Toushiro and we'll become friends which will allow me to become even more than just that to him. I imagined many ways for us to be together, I knew that I'll finally be close to the love of my life!

"For this very special occasion, hime-chan I invite you to my house tonight at seven, my family's not home and I'll cook. I need you to give me as many tips as you can for tomorrow, and I want you to prepare for however it could turn out!"

"It's a deal!" She agreed with a bright smile.

"I'll be in your care then tonight! I'll be waiting." I said with smiling back as I sped back home in the happiest mood I've ever been in.

* * *

Something is not right with Rangiku today, she seemed off. I think something is bothering her, but what could it be. She does know that I'll stand by her in whatever it is, we are bestfriends afterall, right? Well I won't get an answer if I don't ask her; in fact I'll call her right now!

The phone rang for a minute and then she picked up:

"Hello, Matsumoto Rangiku is talking, who is it?"

"Hey, Ran-chan, it's Toushiro."

"Oh Toushiro, how've you been today?"

"Am good, but are you?"

"Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, you kinda seemed off today and it got me worried, that's all."

"Oh it was probably because I ate something bad… listen Toushiro, I don't think I can have lunch with you tomorrow but wait at our usual place okay?"

"Umm, okay, but why?"

"Nothing, you'll know soon enough, but please don't hate me for doing this, okay?"

"You know I can't hate you no matter what happens, Rangiku."

"Okay then, bye."

"Bye."

* * *

Orihime came right on time. I was ecstatic to see how she got with her a notebook with many different scenarios and how to act in each one. If I know Orihime, whenever she brings that book, it means that she's serious and giving this thing her absolute all.

We went over all the different scenarios and all the best ways to react. We had a great time together and we knew that tomorrow was going to be a bright day!

**A/N: I thank all those who reviewed and I wish they'd continue doing so. I namely thank Black Cat Angel to whom I also dedicate this chapter. I am very happy with the way am going and I'd love to know if so are you. And I again apologize for the shortness and the little Toushiro time, but this part has to focus on Ichigo's point of view.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I disclaim.**

I woke up today in a more cheerful mood than yesterday if possible. I think am getting a happy sickness but am too happy to care! Today I'll clear things up with my love, finally. I just can't wait for lunch period. Yesterday, Orihime gave me a shampoo, deodorant, and body spray just like hers, saying that it'll make it easier. She also said that I need to use amount double the usual for effect. We even picked the best clothes and perfumes that'd go well with the body spray. All in all we are most definitely prepared for everything.

I headed for school after eating only a bit of toast in my nervousness. The whole time I kept looking at the object of my affection. I stared at him and tried to act out all the scenarios so that I won't get nervous and chicken out last minute. I remembered hime's words clearly, "No matter what do your best, if it doesn't work out, and you still want him, await your next chance and KNOW that he is worth the effort. The most important thing that I want you to keep in mind is, NEVER DARE GIVE UP"

The bell for lunch just rang. I ran as fast as I can towards the roof and waited there. I didn't want him to be there before me. I was getting sooo nervous. Even though I am nervous, I can't give up especially since Orihime is putting everything into this and also because it's kinda too late to chicken out, I hear him coming up the stairs.

* * *

I can't believe that Rangiku ditched me. I know she is up to something. But she doesn't want me to know for some reason so I'll play along for now. She promised to meet me by the end of lunch anyways. I'll demand my explanation then. I feel like the black duckling sitting alone between all these people.

"Hi there Hitsugaya-kun" I heard behind me. "Oh, hi, Hinamori-san, what're you doing here?"

"I don't really know but Rangiku asked me to sit with you during lunch saying so you won't be lonely or something."

* * *

He's here, he's here. He's opening the door as we speak! Oh god, I feel like am going to fly. I was captivated by his beautiful long blonde hair! Wait, wait, wait, time out, back up a bit. Why did Rangiku come instead?

"Hey, where's Toushiro?"

She walked forward and said, "You don't need to know, bitch."

"How dare you call _me_ a bitch, witch!"

"How dare _I? _How dare _you _even think of asking Toushiro to come here after what you've put him through, you son of a bitch. Do you have any idea how you hurt him?"

She kept getting closer to me, I replied, "I never did anything to hurt Toushiro and if I did then please, if you know, PLEASE tell me what it is!"

"GO TO HELL!" she screamed as she punched me in the face. She didn't stop there, she came to me and kicked me in the gut and continued screaming "HOW DARE YOU!" She continued kicking me until I emptied my stomach right in front of here and started coughing blood. As if that wasn't enough, she went back to the stairs were she left her lunch which was a pizza and coke. She spilled the coke all over my face and shirt. "Is it too cold for you, bitch? Okay consider this a gift from Rangiku." She said as she pushed her pizza in my face and all over my chest and then she left.

I felt so humiliated right there and then. I cried for the first time in four years. I cried like there was no tomorrow. It wasn't the pain. It was the humiliation, the disappointment and rage all welling up inside of me and merging together. I lay there helpless thinking about Toushiro. I still like him. No matter what happens I'll still love that angel. The angel that stole my heart, the angel that I humiliated two years ago like I was humiliated now. Soon after, I slipped into unconsciousness shedding a tear for my angel and whispering his name, "To..Tou-shi…ro"

**A/N: don't hate Rangiku too much, Ichigo kinda deserves it. Besides he fights gangsters all the time. In case it wasn't clear, after his humiliation, Ichigo remembered how he humiliated Toushiro. **

**Please rate and review and remember that your reviews give me the motivation I need to continue writing, so if you like it and want more, review :D! Constructive criticism is most welcome, I just started taking to writing and I want to know how to be a better writer. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I disclaim.**

What happened earlier today opened my eyes. I remembered being the one on the opposite end. I remember hurting Toushiro. I really didn't mean it, and it can't be fully justified, but if I tell him my reasons then maybe he could forgive me. I just woke up after being knocked unconscious. I looked at my watch; it seems school let out a few hours ago. I sighed in relief of not having to face anyone in the state I am in.

I resolved to go to the café and talk to Toushiro. I needed to clarify things, but first I'll have to change. I went back home and entered my room through the window. I quickly took a shower and changed. Considering the time, I think I'll be there in time to talk to Toushiro before he leaves. I went to the café as fast as I could so as not to miss him.

* * *

Rangiku came after lunch in a REALLY bad mood. She seemed really worked up. When I asked her what's wrong and what it was she had to do, she just brushed me off saying that it doesn't matter right now and that we could talk later. I know that something IS horribly wrong but I don't want to pry especially with her fuming like this, so I left it alone.

Right after I left the cafe, I called her:

"Hello, Rangiku?"

"Toushiro? Hi"

"Rangiku I want you to tell me what you were doing during lunch, now."

"Umm, ok. You do remember Orihime? She's my friend and also Ichigo's and she asked me to…" she went on with her story, "You won't hate me for that right?"

"Of course not, actually I love you more for it, thank you for being by my side all the time and having my back." I said in relief.

"I am sure you have mine as well, thank you for not getting angry or anything, you are the best, bye."

"Bye."

* * *

I finally reached the café. I can't wait to talk to Toushiro, but am still nervous; he might still not forgive me. I went in and asked where Toushiro is, and the manager, called Unohana Retsu, told me that he has left early. She had a very motherly atmosphere around her. I only talked to her once but it feels like she knows me enough to have raised me or something.

I asked her in which direction he went and she told me. I ran as fast as I could in that direction. I was already giving up on finding Toushiro when I heard a scream. Someone was screaming, "LET ME GO! HELP! HELP!" I hesitated for a second whether to go help or continue searching for Toushiro, but I knew that I'd feel absolutely guilty later on especially since for one I don't know if I'll even find him and second, I dunno if he'll forgive me anyway.

I took a deep breath and charged right into the alley and on the attackers. They were three big gangsters ganging on my Toushiro. At seeing him, I went into a full blown rage and kicked their asses until they went out of my sight screaming for their mommies. I looked at Toushiro, with his clothes ripped off and bruises covered his angelic face, it was obvious what they meant to do to him. I was quite tired after the fighting so I offered him my jacket and pants and sat there next to him panting. My pants were, of course too big for him but he said he could manage with them somehow. He turned his head away from me and asked me, "Kurosaki, why did you save me?"

"You can call me Ichigo."

"Ok, Ichigo, why did you save me?"

"I don't need a reason to do so Hitsugaya-kun, I personally think that attacking someone could have million of reasons no matter how twisted they are, but saving someone requires none at all."

Toushiro gave me a smile bright enough to put the sun to shame, and said sweetly, "Thank you, you can call me Toushiro. Isn't it humiliating to have to walk around in boxers, Ichigo?"

"Well it is, but I think that naked downstairs is even more humiliating."

"I guess you're right."

"Toushiro, I want to apologize to what I did to you. I know that no matter what the reason behind it, it's still unforgivable but I'll tell it to you anyways. You see, I always felt insecure, as most people did but I couldn't ignore it. I wanted to be recognized, to be popular, like Zaraki, Madarame, and Ayasegawa. One day they saw me fight a bully and actually helped me, I felt honored. They told me that I was brave and strong and that I should join their group. Of course it was something that I could think of refusing. I accepted right away, but they told me that it'd be bad for them to accept someone in front of the school without him being qualified, so they gave me a mission. You, of course, know what that was and how I did on it, but after doing what I did, although it was too late I regretted it and I went to them and told them that I can't join their group. That's about it. Saying out loud makes it feel much more insignificant than in my head."

"Don't worry about it, I think we can be friends. Especially after your helping me and, well, Rangiku did kick your ass."

"I think it should be 'Especially after Rangiku kicked your ass and, well, you did help me' because those three are no match for her, she definitely packed more of a punch than those pansies."

**A/N: I had a hard time writing this one but once I finished half, my fingers kept moving on their own. I hope you loved it because I did. Please review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I disclaim.**

**A/N: I am totally lost now and I don't know how to continue especially since I seriously lack in both friendship and love departments. I just hope that it doesn't turn out as horrible as I think it will.**

Ichigo and I finally got enough rest and courage to get out of the alley, him in a shirt and a pair of boxers and me with an oversized pair of pants and a jacket. We decided to go to his place since his family is conveniently at the wedding of their distant cousin's step-sister's brother-in-law's aunt in a some island where they're staying for the week and also because I didn't want to alarm my mother. When I asked him about the clothes, he said that his tom boy of a younger sister should have something appropriate enough for him to wear and that they probably wear the same size. I refused to wear a girl's clothes, especially one who is a few years younger than me, but let's face it, it IS my best option.

As we walked, people looked at us in a strange way. Some had offensive looks some kept staring while others laughed AND pointed. I felt really angry and guilty for having Ichigo go through this just for me. And what hurt me more was that I knew that if I was in their place I'd be doing the exact same insensitive thing. Although he was the one being laughed at, he didn't react, he just ignored them. That made me like and respect him more.

The next day, I woke up in a bed that didn't belong to me. I felt a source of warmth pressed to my back. I turned back and found Ichigo. At first, I was quite confused, but when the memories from the day before settled in my mind I got up disgusted and went to shower. I had to clean myself from the filth of those gangsters. I could almost feel their fingers in my ass, and it made me feel nauseous. As I remembered the feeling I actually began vomiting in the shower. I slid down and as the horror of the reality of being a halfway rape victim hit me, I began crying right there and then. The only sound soothing me was that of the running water of the shower. I felt tainted, used. The world really was a horrible place, I can't imagine how victims of true rape feel, being used like that and on top of that, left alive to live with the humility and pain.

**A/N: I stopped here because I want to know if you want me to change the rating of the story to M starting next chapter. I don't think that I'll be able to right a lemon either way but there is still something else I have in mind if you catch my drift… **


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I disclaim.**

**A/N: Since no one wanted me to change the rating, the story will continue as an innocent T.**

**PERSONALLY IMPORTANT-ish, but most won't understand so please don't mind it,**

**A3arf enna ba3adhn el3ashr elawa5er bas 3eshan ma ansa: E3tabraw hal chapter 3eidiyah minny mo8adaman, w please itha momkin review, 7ata law kanat el8e9ah mn zeman maktoobah(aba a3arf itha fi '3eiry) ;)**

On with the story:

As I sat there in the shower crying, I began REALLY thinking. I got up and laughed. Maybe I wasn't unlucky maybe I was the luckiest person. I was assaulted, yet I am standing here unbroken. They wanted to break me but I didn't so I won't give them the satisfaction of falling apart. I was absolutely lucky to be saved by Ichigo who was not disgusted by me after that. Oh, he looked soooo cool, that Ichigo. As far as I'm concerned, he is cooler than kenpachi and his group could ever hope to be. I finished the shower with a smile and went back outside.

I was dressed and preparing breakfast when ichigo came down. He looked at me amazed, "I didn't know that you could cook, Toushiro."

"Well, if you had to live alone with MY mother, you have to."

"Oh, I see, so what're you making?"

"Nothing fancy it's just pancakes and a couple of bentos."

"Bentos, huh? To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"It's just a thanks for saving my life nothing more" I said with a smile.

* * *

Wow, he can cook too! Earlier I went into the bathroom to see that it's cleaner than usual and Toushiro smells fresh out of shower. My lovely angle can both cook and clean! Ahhh, he grows more, and more beautiful in my eyes every second, it's unbelievable. I am touched by the fact that he is actually cooking for me and I feel proud for rescuing him yesterday, it was totally worth it.

We left for school early to take our time walking and talking. The two of us really need to know each other. The more I knew about him, the deeper I fell in love and the stronger the pain of the definite rejection. I never was the pessimistic kind of person but really, what are the odds here. Why would someone I hurt and humiliated love me back. Why would someone so sweet, skilled and angelic like a loser like myself. There is just no way in hell, and the sooner I realize that, the better off I'll be after the rejection. I can't continue to fall for him like this. I just can't. I mean, come on, he is friends with RANGIKU for crying out loud. To be gay is to sin, that's probably why god wanted to punish us by making all the beautiful guys straight. I need to stop this as soon as possible.

*Time Skip*Lunch*

Orihime, Rangiku, Toushiro, and I sat together on the roof to eat lunch. Fortunately we didn't even look at the side that was covered by my blood. If we did, Toushiro would be angry, Rangiku guilty, and Orihime in tears. We sat and talked about almost everything. I might as well enjoy this while it lasted. Orihime and Rangiku were both acting slightly off. They kept staring at each other longer than necessary and feeding each other more than usual. I thought that it might just be an Orihime-Rangiku thing because they both have the weirdest tastes when it comes down to food, but I was proven wrong as the bell rang. Rangiku stared at me for some time then she said, "Ichigo" she looked at Toushiro and said, "Toushiro, too."

Orihime looked at how hard it seemed for Rangiku to talk then said, "We need to talk to you about something very important. Please stay here and listen to us."

Of course we complied.

Rangiku looked at Orihime for support then turned to us, "We like you guys very much and we know that you do too. Before I say anything, I want you to know that whatever happens, we are still Rangiku and Orihime, that won't ever change. We kind of, might be, sort of, like together." Toushiro and I just stared at them in disbelief and shock. Orihime continued her girlfriend's speech rambling, "It's not really as weird as they say it is, I mean, to us, it feels perfectly fine and normal, it is love and you just can't control it no matter what you do, it isn't like we'll change or won't be friends with you anymore, we still wanna hang out with you and be friends if you don't mind"

"Orihime, just stop." I said finally unable to handle anymore of her rambling. "We get it already, and we won't judge you. I personally have absolutely no problem with you two as long as you promise to still be there for us when we need you and most importantly not leak information to the other." I continued with an encouraging face. "I don't mind it either." Said Toushiro. After that we all went to class and got scolded for all we're worth.

After what happened, I began thinking of what Orihime said. Love is love no matter who it is you love. Toushiro's acceptance can mean hope for me. If he's okay with homosexuality then maybe at least even if I was rejected, we could still be friends; he's just good like that. My thoughts were plagued by Toushiro throughout the school hours and I was actually surprised when it finished. After we got out of school, Orihime and Rangiku walked home together to have some time with one another, and I suggested to Toushiro that we throw them a congratulations mini party, just us four.

**A/N: I know am moving too fast but I am kinda stuck and dunno what to write especially since this is the part that I suck at most.**


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